yay for staying on track

2nd day in a row blogging! haha i almost forgot again but it's ok. so i've been thinking and it's kind of weird to me how some days my ed takes over my brain completely and i feel so so crazy. like when it takes me an hour and a half to eat a granola bar because i literally eat it grain by grain, and that's all i eat for the day. but then other days (like today) i can go out to breakfast and eat two whole pieces of cinnamon toast (no butter or syrup though) and even though i take small bites it's almost like eating a normal meal and as long as i'm still at a significant restriction for the day (usually under 500) then i actually feel ok with myself.  i know i lose more weight on my psycho days, but i actually get to feel like a human being on the other days. oh well it's not like i get to choose so i guess it doesn't really matter.

inconsistency

inconsistency is one of my biggest pet peeves and I would just like to apologize to you all. I suck. haha. I post like once a week or something and i'm constantly talking about how i'm going to recover and then the next thing you know, just kidding, i'm fully in the grips of my ed. what can i say? my head is a complete mess. but i do want to apologize, so i'm sorry. and thanks to anyone who's stuck with me through this. From this moment on though, I'm really going to try to blog more frequently. mostly because i think it helps me understand myself a little bit. it allows me to sort through all the crazy thoughts that are in my head at once. and it's really the only way i can look back and know what i was feeling at any one time, my emotions seem to jump back and forth between extremes far too often for me to remember. so first things first. i got nominated for the versatile blogger award :)

The Rules:

1) thank the person who loved you enough to bestow you this gift.

2)Share seven things about yourself

3)nominate this award to 10 bloggers you think are badass

4)let your badass bloggers now you love them

So thank you so much Alex! It really made my day to see that in my comments box and this is a good idea too because i don't think many of my posts are really about me, more about my ed. so now people can get to know me a bit! Alex's blog is http://skeletalthoughts.blogspot.com/   check it out :)

seven things you may not know about me

1) I live in the United States but I actually grew up overseas because my father works in the oil and gas industry. I'd give anything to go back to Australia. it might even be silly but i think if i had just stayed there i wouldn't be so messed up.

2) I'm obsessed with those paint by number kits, especially the crazy complicated ones that take forever to finish.

3) I'm absolutely a coffee addict. probably partially because of my ed, but now the other part is i just got one of those keurig single cup coffee makers and there are SO many flavors and i'm determined to try them all and find my favorite.

4) I adore stuffed animals. I can't resist them when i see them in stores. I never quite know what to do with them when i get home..but they're just so darn cute!

5) I'm in university and so far i have actually maintained a 4.0 gpa, i'm in a sorority, i'm in honors, and i'm on the swim team. do not ask me how i manage it. haha the answer is probably insanity. 

6) I have an unusual love for hotels and airports. They're just so full of mystery to me. Like so many people, each with their own stories...idk it's hard to explain but they just seem kind of magical to me.

7) I have the best boyfriend in the entire world. and i mean that quite seriously. He's perfect in every way. to the point where (because i'm irrational) i'm so worried about when something's going to go wrong, because nothing is allowed to be this good for this long. but i love him so much. 

So now to pass on the award torch too....

1) http://mymthead.blogspot.com/

2) http://www.wemovebyinstinct.blogspot.com/

3) http://thinloveandothersacrifices.blogspot.com/

4) http://chloescleanout.blogspot.com/

5) http://bonesarepure.blogspot.com/

6) http://thinthrills.blogspot.com/

7) http://tillicanfeelit.blogspot.com/

8) http://countdowntoskinny.blogspot.com/

9) http://aspectsofalice.blogspot.com/

10) http://stickthin7.blogspot.com/

So thank you to all of you who blog (even if you're not on this list, I still really enjoy reading your posts) and sorry about the fact that i don't think any of the blogs i posted are clickable links..maybe one of my facts about myself should have been that i'm technologically inept...oh well. 

anyway i have alot more to say but i'm going to save it for another post because this one is already sooo long. haha