Changes

Down half a pound this morning. I'm not happy about it because it's just the same weight I gained inexplicably yesterday. So now I'm back to Wednesday's weight. No progress on that front. I don't understand. Restricting has never let me down like this before. I used to lose between half a pound and a pound every day. I wish I could just stop because it's clearly not working, but I can't. I can't let myself eat normally when I'm so huge. I don't deserve to eat regular meals. I need the calmness in my head that comes with the hunger pangs. The only real difference I've noticed is that the light has gone out of my eyes once again. They're just so...dead. And the deep bags under my eyes just make my face look hollow. Also my ribs are getting gross again. Not because I'm skinny, but just because that's where I always lose weight first. I can have ribs poking out everywhere and still have a belly, it's indescribably frustrating.

I still have one more class this afternoon, and then sorority stuff tonight. All I've consumed so far is black coffee and unsweetened green tea. I might have a latte with nonfat milk later to avoid dinner. I hope the scale doesn't let me down again tomorrow.