Everything falls to pieces, and I fall with it

130.4
So my weight's going down again.

My life is a terrible mess though.
My boyfriend just broke up with me today. We dated for two years.
My best friend and my Little, the two people I turn to for everything (other than my now ex) are studying abroad and no longer available.
My grades are already low and it's only two weeks into the semester.
None of the jobs I applied for even got back to me.
I can't afford to pay my speeding ticket or my sorority dues.
and (somewhat obviously) I'm in the middle of quite the relapse with my eating disorder.

So today has basically been a sobfest. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I can't handle any of it. Now I officially have no one to talk to about my ED as well. My ex was the only one who knew. I still can't believe he broke up with me. He knows everything about me. I opened up to him and trusted him with things that I was always too scared to talk to anyone else about. And now I'm just on my own, completely shattered. Numb, but only because i've been feeling way too much, way too intensely, for far too long, and emotions have ceased to make sense. Sadness, anger, disappointment, it's all just kind of this one huge weight on my chest that I can't parse out, but just ends up being a general fear of the world and everything in it. I'm just scared. Scared of what else might happen, what else I might have to feel. And I'm tired. Tired of pretending I'm ok.