nothing's changed

I haven't posted in a few days. Maybe because nothing's changed. Maybe because I'd rather try to escape my head than write about what's in it. I've mainly been torturing myself with what ifs and hoping that soon my ex will take me back. Pathetic. I can't help but believe that if I hadn't relapsed we'd still be together. Just another thing this disorder has ruined for me. Please don't take law school away from me, it's literally the only thing I have left.