progress

phew.
weighed in 2 minutes ago.
138.4 lb
not ideal, but definitely progress.
that means i weigh a pound less than when i left for fall break, which is impressive considering how much i had to eat around my parents and friends.
and then if you assume that my parents' scale was correct, then i lost about 6 pounds in 2 or 3 days, after gaining about 5 pounds there, so either way, I did well.
I stuck to my semi-fast today, which i think is what saved me.
I had a piece of 45 calorie wheat toast this morning with half a tablespoon of peanut butter (about 100 cal total), then lots of water for breakfast.
for lunch i had a starbucks skinny latte (130 cal).
and for dinner I'm currently having more water and a few pieces of celery (0 cal).
not bad at all. and the best part is it feels good. I'm not even hungry, to be honest the celery is kind of making me nauseous from being too full. weird. I mentioned earlier about how hard tomorrow is going to be though, so we'll see how that goes... my goal right now is to just maintain my weight for when i weigh in on wednesday. I feel like tomorrow might be a gain day, but then i'm giving myself tuesday to fast before i get back on the scale.
this feels great. really and truly. i spent most of my time in the airport reading pro-ana blogs by some other girls, I found some of them really inspirational, and it feels incredible to be understood. after i finish this post i'm going to look at some more thinspo to help me with tomorrow :)
today I've noticed i'm the skinniest i think i've ever been. i mean, i still hate my stomach pooch and my thighs are awful, but my ribcage juts out quite a bit. I found myself running my hands over it every few minutes today, it's just a reminder of how well i'm doing, and how great it feels.
my goal is to be 130 lb by the time we leave for thanksgiving break (unfortunately i'm sure i'll probably gain a few back during the holiday though. damn thanksgiving anyway. seriously, a holiday that we've dedicated to eating??? it's like a nightmare, and you know everyone will notice if i don't eat, or barely eat.). so that's in about a month, 4 weeks. which lets me set a goal of two pounds of weight loss a week. should be easy enough, and that's supposed to be a healthy amount too. bonus! maybe 120 lb by end of term??? we'll see. i need to know how this part will go first, and actually, i need to see how i look at 130, i'm already at my skinniest, and if i freak anyone out by losing so much weight so quickly, i'll probably have to go back to therapy and all and i definitely don't want that. so i need to be able to still look like myself. 130 should be safe. for now. I'm getting excited already :)
it's like a challenge.
I have a secret.
do you think i can keep it? ;)