so just got back from the steakhouse, kept the whole meal to around 257 calories by my calculations. I think i only managed it by ordering the grilled shrimp as my entree. seriously it's always the lowest calorie item on the menu :) then with spinach and green beans as my sides i was able to eat most of my meal so it didn't look suspicious, and still stay in my limit. perfect. only problem was i was literally shaking the whole meal. i was/am freezing cold, took my temperature when i got back to my dorm and it's a full degree lower than it should be. weird.
ana has officially taken over my life. mostly my perfectionist tendencies were used when it came to schoolwork, I've always been a great student, but I have two papers due tomorrow morning and I haven't started either of them, and here I am blogging. it's like all i can do is exercise, drink water, plan out how not to eat, and lie in bed reading other pro-ana blogs for inspiration/understanding. it's like it's all that matters to me anymore. which kind of freaks me out, but i still can't make myself do my schoolwork. it's like my priorities are all wacked out. if i have an exam in a couple of hours that i need to study for, but i haven't worked out yet, it's not even a choice, i HAVE to go work out. if my grades are lower this second half of the semester, I honestly will not be surprised. I hope i can keep them up though :(
had two of my first grey-outs recently. they're a nice reminder of how well i'm doing, but i need to make sure i don't actually pass out, or if i do, no one sees it. i wish the scale would start reflecting my hard work though, oh well, it will come.
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