dying for results

yesterday sucked. I mean, I'm starting to feel better, so that's awesome, it really is. but yesterday sucked. The boy promised to text me or call me and he still hasn't, which doesn't even like make me sad, just a little frustrated i think. Idk, sad is too..emotion-y. frustrated just reflects my need for things to work out the way they're supposed to. and it's not. we're not working out how i planned or how he promised, and my weight loss definitely is working out like i planned. ugh. frustrated all around. you know what, all you guys out there, if you're not going to call, don't say you will. it's really that simple. If i'm not expecting you to call, then i won't get pissed off when you don't. seriously, alot of conflict can be avoided this way. idk if guys are like incapable of understanding simple things like that, or if they just don't give a shit. I'm also not sure which would be worse. whatever.

so anyway, I'm doing what i always do when i get upset: focus on ana. super-healthy habit, i know. but i can't help it. So for today, nothing but fruits and veg. which is basically my plan for this week, but i guess i'm starting early. plus i did about 400 crunches last night (actually i think it was 3 this morning) and a minute of wall-sits. and i'll try to do about the same today. I'm still not completely healed so no running, but hopefully i'll be back to that tomorrow. maybe i can finally push through this stupid plateau of 130. I have to. I need to be 127 by next tuesday, that's when i leave for thanksgiving break. I definitely think it's possible if i stick to this plan. i mean, how could i not lose weight on an only fruit and vegetable diet with tons of exercise??? that's like...the healthiest thing ever. or at least, about the healthiest thing you can do as an anorexic haha i know i should be eating more calories than that from a medical perspective but really, think of all the vitamins and nutrients and whatnot i'm taking in. and there's no fat in fresh fruit and veg i think so i absolutely can't gain weight. but to be honest, if i can't lose on this then i'm going to start doing all out fasts again. actually, might do one in the middle of this week anyway, we'll see. 

breakfast: nothing

lunch: 6 baby carrots (15 cal?)

snack: 4 baby carrots (10 cal?)