end of the day

so after those apple slices this morning (35 cal) all i could choke down was about half of a salad with no dressing (40 cal) at lunch...so 75 cals for the day. I mean, it's good that i didn't accidentally fast again today and i made myself eat, but i just feel disappointed in myself that i couldn't even reach 100 cals in a day. oh well...i'm going to try to eat again tomorrow. i seriously don't know what i'm going to do over break if i can't eat enough to convince my family that i'm fine. i need to get my shit together and fast. this kind of behavior is definitely going to be noticeable...and i CANNOT go back to therapy. ugh. plus what if they pulled me out of uni? i could not handle that, i really do love it here. i would just die if i had to move back home. so tomorrow's another attempt at normalcy. and then the show begins...wish me luck. or i guess "break a leg" since i need to be an actress...