weight tracker

Thursday, November 18, 2010

the end of punishment


so i weighed myself this morning...129 pounds exactly :) i know it's not a great weight, but it's actually a pound less than i was before my monday night binge. so i feel like i can stop my punishment. i still don't feel like eating though so i'm going to keep my fast going for a bit, but it's not a punishment anymore and i can stop whenever i want. Only 4 pounds left to lose until i'm at the lowest weight i've been. 125. that's the weight i was when i went into therapy. so close. that's my next goal weight. and after that, i'm going lower :)
shopping on saturday. i honestly can't wait. i have a feeling those 4's are going to fit like a dream. and maybe i'll even buy a pair of 2's? for inspiration? we'll see.
had a fight with a good friend from home last night. the one that knows my ed is back. he's convinced i'm taking it too far and i need help (like it's ok if i'm only a little anorexic? what?) but i told him about how i gained four pounds monday night because my friends are making me eat. he seemed to feel a little better. i just won't tell him that i then lost 5 pounds to make up for it. haha. 
my ribs feel wonderful :)
my sternum is starting to be visible (i've always had prominent collarbones, but you've never been able to see where they connect)
i can feel my hip bones jutting out into the band of my jeans 
i love it. i love it all. i want more.

No comments:

Post a Comment