Week of binges

So I'm in Texas with my extended family. I flew in about middnight kast night so I've been here over 24 hours now. I am currently typing this on my phone because I don't have access to a computer here... So yesterday at school and the airport and all I did well. Breakfast: half a fiber one bar, 70 cal, a few bites of a muffin, 30 cal lunch: coffee and two hershey's kisses, 30 cal dinner at the airport: one fourth of a salad that I took the dressing and crispy strips out of. So basically a few bites of grilled chicken lettuce and cabbage, 70 cal or less. Total: 200 cal or less today however, I did not do so well. It's because I'm with my family and I'm forced to eat. It's not even like I'm just tempted by food, because I'm actually not. It's that they watch to make sure I eat what's expected of me, which is alot apparently. Breakfast: nothing (slept through it), 0 cal lunch: slice of pizza, 370 cal dinner: half a baked potato, 100 cal, pat of butter, 37 cal, shredded cheese, 100 cal, half a small piece of birthday cake, 150 cal, small scoop of vanilla ice cream, 180 cal total:936 cals it was my uncle's birthday so the cake and ice cream was unavoidable. All the food was. I'm basically just trying to eat as little of everything as possible. It's annoying because I feel like I'm bingeing and it's not my fault. I'm going to be here for three whole more days and then part of Sunday. Over four days of forced binges. I'm going to be huge. There's not even a scale here for me to see how badly I'm doing. Ugh. It's like after just 24 hours I can feel the fat all over me. I'm disgusting. My stomach is no longer firm and empty. I'm full and huge and jiggly and disgusting. And did you know that any intake under 1000 is considered anorexic??? Ha. I ate an anorexic amount and j feel like a pig. Anything over 500 feels like a binge to me, and most of the time I refuse to go over 300. I would prefer to not eat anything at all ever but that's not exactly realistic. I almost had a panic attack earlier. It was before I had to eat the pizza. It was in the oven and my mind just kept freaking out about how they were going to make me eat all that greasy fat. I nearly cried. It got kind of hard to breathe. I had to pull myself together. And they gave me a slice ( thank god just one!) and watched me eat it. My father flat out asked me later today if I got skinnier from starving. I was pretty shocked. Of course I said no and that swim practice has just been intense, but to be honest, I'm surprised daddy dearest even noticed. He's never really cared before...oh well. It sucks because now I know for sure that people are watching me eat, and I can't get away with alot of the tricks I use with my friends. Damn. This is really really hard. Like this is one of the worst weeks of my life. I don't think anyone without an Ed could possibly understand just how painful this is. My plan is to suffer through the week doing as many crunches as I possibly can since that's really the only form of exercise I can do secretly around here, check out the damage on the scale when I get back to school, and then fast until I'm back to where I was: 124.7 and then back to my normal habits of 0-300 cal a day.